Friday July 27, our dearly beloved Sha-lou passed away. He had been fighting leukemia since March 2006, and this past April he received a bone marrow transplant. His death was the result of complications from the transplant. He fought very hard right up until the end, and family and friends constantly supported him.
At Vassar, Sha-lou was a psychology major, and he also received his elementary education certificate. After graduating, Sha-lou taught at two different elementary schools in New York City. He was a wonderful teacher and his students LOVED him! This past January, he had started a master’s program in special education at Hunter College in New York City.
Sha-lou was an extremely warm, accepting person who had the ability to make everyone laugh. He was very determined and persistent and pursued his goals with fervor. He will be sorely missed by everyone whose life he affected..
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July 29, 2007 at 9:00 am
patricia nieto
Sha-Lou (better known to me as Mr. Biray) was a wonderful person. He was my daughter, Kristen’s 3rd grade teacher at Our World Neighborhood Charter School. Kristen and Mr. Biray had a very special bond. Just this week, I was looking at the picture that Kristen had taken with Mr. Biray when he came to visit her this year. She made him a blue box that said BEST TEACHER and the picture was taken with the box.
Even through the ordeal he went through, he would email me and say nothing but positive things. Always laughing.
He will be greatly missed.
Patricia Nieto
July 28, 2007 at 9:07 pm
Jessica Frawley
What can I say; Sha-lou was the best. I always envied that dry sense of humor and he could always make me laugh no matter what mood I was in. I will miss him soooo much and in some ways feel like I should still be able to visit or pick up the phone and chat about the days adventures. He loved teaching and his children, loved life and lived it fully and when he got sick he handled himself with such grace and dignity. He was brave to the end and treated everyone around him well, always using humor even when he was in pain. I will cherish his friendship always.
Jessica
July 29, 2007 at 10:30 pm
Dara Kammerman
One of the many things that was incredible about Sha-lou was his ability to bring people together. He was always planning little get togethers and excursions. Our freshman year, he insisted that the entire floor go to dinner together at least once a week- and people really did it! Also, as Richard was saying to me tonight, any group photograph that we have from college was probably because Sha-lou requested it and we all complied! Do people from Vassar remember BSB tuna fish parties? Every so often, he would gather everyone in his room and we would listen to Backstreet Boys and eat tuna sandwiches….. I’m not sure how that one originated, but it was so great! It was so important for him to bring people together and we will always be grateful for the sense of community he created for us. He just had so much love to go around. I will miss him more than words can describe.
July 30, 2007 at 6:33 am
Alvi Bartonico
I’ve known Sha Lou since we were little kids back in Manila. We were called mintcor babies. I used to remember the time when our moms had put up a small kindergarten type in our small subdivision, in one of those vacant houses. Of course we were the first students. Sha Lou and I would always sit together and chat. We would always get in trouble with our parents because we talk alot in class. We were always playing around the subdivisiong for hours, to the point that our moms would get so mad by the time we get home. We’ve had so much memories together.
Sha Lou is a wonderful person and I would truly miss him. I know we have not spoken for a while, but I’ve always and will always cherish our memories together. I love you my dear friend!
August 1, 2007 at 6:01 am
Jessica Trimble
Sha Lou was a treasure of a human being. I met him first when he came to work at our school Our World Neighborhood. The beginning of the school year can be a stressfull time and I was immediately impressed by the way in which Sha Lou transformed every situation into a pleasant one. My goodness that smile!! In the classroom Sha Lou brought a patience and kindness and wisdom that the kids clearly picked up on right away. Sha Lou had some kids in that classroom with a history of being challenging. I would walk into that room and see kids who generally had no patience for classroom instruction and seemed driven to challenge authority and yet, with him, they had found someone who was willing to take the time and listen and learn with them. And suddenly these kids were thriving. His life was too short but in the time that I knew him he was an amazing force for change in the lives of many of our kids and I am forever grateful for having had him as a part of our community. He was loved and he will be missed.
August 6, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Nikki Crook
I met Sha-lou during my first weeks as a freshman at Vassar College as we both lived in Noyes House, the funny looking dorm on campus. I grew to know him better through our teacher education classes. I will never forget our professor Robin Trainor crying out “Now Sha-lou!” during classes when Sha-lou’s irrepressible sense of humor would come through and he would crack jokes in the middle of class time. All of us (girls except for Shawn and Sha-lou) would be laughing and Robin would be trying not to laugh. When I found out he was sick, I visited him a few times at the hospital and I will never forget how, even during the most difficult times, he continued to be a caring, warm, and attentive friend. I know he will live on in the lives he touched.
September 27, 2007 at 4:50 pm
Evelien
Dear parents, dear Lian, dear family
Dear Dara, dear friends
It took me some time to think about everything before writing you. I still don’t know what to write or what not to write, to let you feel my love and support in the best way.
I carry a note, written by Sha-lou, in my wallet, since the day I last saw him – six years ago. It says: “Evelien, as S-Club 7 once said: never forget that I’ve got you and you’ve got me, safe trip, I will miss you”.
It was the first sentence that came up in my mind when I read your e-mail, in the second week of August. I didn’t know how to feel or act. It was so surreal for me, being on the other side of the ocean and not having seen him for six years. I lived together with Sha-lou when he was in the UK, in Oxford. Since then, I have always considered him as one of my closest friends. Distance and time didn’t matter. Just knowing he was there, and that I could always count on him.
I guess I don’t have to tell you what a great person he was. I remember how warm he was when we met and how he made me and the others feel at home in our new house. Everybody adored him. Sha-lou, another friend Miguel (from Portugal) and Sofie (also from Belgium) were very close. Sha-lou was the first one to get everyone together for a dinner party, an evening out, a visit to another city, a memory board and finally, our last way of contact; our own website, which he managed in a way nobody else could. Although far away, he will be missed enormously, by all of us.
I feel so, so sorry about many things. I have to say that at the end, I wasn’t aware of the seriousness of it all. If only I had realised … So many times I wanted to call him in the hospital, but I kept on postponing it. I wouldn’t know what to say. I was afraid. I guess I will regret it forever because I’ve always known how much it meant to him. If I had realised, I would even have crossed the ocean to see him. If…
I had plans of sending him things, letters, packages, many more e-mails, … I feel very guilty for not having done it. I always thought that there would be enough time ‘later’. If there is one thing I will ‘learn’ from all this, it will be this.
We had a promise to see each other again before we are both 30. I guess the last thing I can do for Sha-lou is to keep that promise.
Sha-lou, never forget that I’ve got you and you’ve got me, safe trip, I will always miss you.
You are in our prayers.
Much love from Belgium,
Evelien
PS I wanted to write you this in handwriting and send it through the post, but I thought it has taken me enough time allready…
September 27, 2007 at 4:52 pm
Sofie
Dear All
after reading Evelien’s email I can’t do anything but reply. I am Sofie, the other Belgian girl that lived with Sha-Lou when we were all in Oxford. I too remember him as a warm, loving, kind, smart, down to earth, special person. But how to put these things in words to his family, the ones that knew him best and miss him even more, those that lost a part of themselves, one of the best parts..
Sha-Lou and I emailed a lot. When he told us he was sick, I was planning to travel to New York. But since I live in Africa and have kids, it took me more planning than I hoped. By the time I was ready to come, he was not to be visited anymore because of his immune system. I should have went anyway.. I should have done so many things.
When we lived in Oxford, I had to go back to Belgium for a brief period of time. My mother was sick and she eventually died. When I went back to the UK, Sha-Lou had organised a welcome home dinner.. The things he had cooked for us were delicious, he had bought a cook book by Jamie Oliver (his hero, he called his plant in his room Jamie) and had chosen 2 great dishes, had done groceries for 12 people by himself and cooked everything himself. He had moved all the furniture out of his room and had put down a blanket and dishes.To this day, I make these 2 dishes frequently, they are nice and he taught me how to make them with love.
He was one of the loveliest, uncomplex, kindest, unselfish and genuine persons I ever met.
I wish I told him that when he was alive.
I will miss you, friend.
Sofie
October 29, 2007 at 9:37 pm
Syrhan Biray
To everyone who has left so many kind gestures for my brother who I miss dearly. I know I have said this so many times before but I find out more great things about him even today as people write about fond memories of him and the impact he had on their lives. As his brother…I took advantage of his personalities. Since I’ve known him all my life, the stories I hear and the love everyone feels in their heart seems foreign to me because how would I know what a great person does if I already have one as a brother. All my life he went out of his way to help me out
I remember this one time i was applying for college but I wasn’t eligible to go to West Point (due to my non-US citizen status) and my brother helped me picked out Virginia Tech. I know not everyone knows me but I took advantage of my brother’s colorfull essay, his college entrance essay to Vassar, and took it for my own. (its funny to think back to it now) But I ended up writing my own essay and him approvingly proof reading and editing it. Well long story short, I ended up going to Virginia Tech and continue my military path in life. I know this probably doesn’t compare to stories of good times, good travels, regrets, and loving memories but it is one of many good memories I treasure.
There isn’t many things that I fear to do in life if you know who I am or if my brother ever mentioned my adventures in life. I’ve suffered the same hardships as my brother growing up in the Philippines and the US but we got threw it together. Now that I’ve lost my foundation and guidance, i fear that I have lost the voice of common sense, voice of reason and support.
Now I look to his friends memories of him to try to get to know the Sha-lou that I never really knew. Its funny cause when i get home i miss my mothers cooking so i never really ate his cooking so its interesting that he knew how to cook. I really didn’t know he had a sense of humor either cause I had a good time poking fun at him and pulling jokes at him. I never really knew he had such great and genuine friends because when I was with him…there wasn’t anyone else that really mattered.
Thank you all for your kind stories, you have helped me healed day by day by letting me get to know him better through your memories.
one last story for his friends that wasn’t able to come and see him before he passed away. I remember taking emergency leave from the Army to come and see him. At first I never really realize the condition he was in because he greeted me with the same love and care that he usually did. I know his good friends might hate me for saying this but we were watching the news about a traveling tattoo artist that does house calls and I decided to pull a joke on him. I guess because he was taking a lot of pain medication, when he woke up, I joked around that a tattoo artist came and “tatted” his hand up. I continued with the joke by brain storming more patterns up like our dogs paws on his chest. I guess I just wanted him to feel normal again even for just a moment.
Once again thank you for all your kind words and stories. Even to this day, i wonder what kind of man my brother was to gather and befriend such great, kind friends with genuine good nature.
Thank you all,
Syrhan Biray
November 21, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Yet
Last July 28, I received a call from my tita in the States. She delivered the devastating news… MY KUYA SHALOU PASSED AWAY…
The news was shocking and depressing. I was expecting that he was recovering from his illness. He seemed alright when we talked through the phone… I was hopeful that I would be able to see him when we went to US unfortunately it won’t happen…
My Kuya Shalou had been fighting for his life for about months. He had been bedridden and hospitalized for several months. As a matter of fact he stayed most of the time at the hospital.
I thought after the bone marrow transplant everything would be alright. I often prayed that hopefully he could continue to bear the pain of blood transfusions. My kuya must be very brave for he was able to take it all.
He was… he was brave… Actually, I adore him for that. The strength he shown was awesome. He was the strength of the people who dearly loves him.
And after months of battle… God has fetched His beloved son. He has gone home to a place wherein pain can no longer exists. He has finally gone home to where happiness and peace reigns.
I will miss him. He had been a good cousin to me. He had been a great playmate when we were young. He taught me to do good in school. He inspired me to accept the challenges. We may not spent so much time together, but I am very lucky because I had the chance to know him. He had been a part of my wonderful chilhood days. I will miss those times Kuya. The costumes we tend to wear. The trips… The swimming escapades.
Thank you for all the memories we’ve shared. Thank you for allowing your Mom to be with us while we were in Hong Kong. Thnak you for such a selfless love…I will miss you Kuya, I know you are with my mom now, please take good care of her. Send my love and kisses to my beloved mom. Tell her that we missed her so much..
Farewell my dear cousin. Farewell dear friend. I know someday we will meet again. I will go on with my journey and I know you will watch over us. We love you.
Yet,cousin