*NSYNC concert

Anna Scretching left this comment. I totally remember Sha-lou excitedly telling me about that concert. He has such a blast there. J.C. was always his main man.

I had the pleasure of Sha-lou’s friendship throughout high school and even when we both went our separate ways to college.

We made most of our memories during Drama. We always had a blast laughing and joking with one another. I always loved show nights, he would run up to me and say “Anna! You need to do my blush! No one does my blush like you do!” And I would just smile and put on his make-up. We would always laugh at the fact that he had to wear my make-up. My senior year was very hard on the both of us…we were both afraid that me leaving would affect the wonderful friendship that we had developed…well, actually, he was more concerned about who would do his blush (as he informed me when signing my yearbook:-)) Even with the distance, we remained very good friends. I am so fortunate for that.

One of my favorite memories with Sha-lou is when the summer after his freshman year at college, we went to an *NSYNC concert. His obsession with boybands was bigger than mine! And I absolutely loved that about him…not may guys would join in a sing along to the newest boyband hit, and dance the moves as well! We had pretty good seats on the side of the stage, and everytime Justin or Lance would point in our direction, we would scream our heads off like they could actually see us! When we left that concert, we had no voices left! But we still found a way to sing along to the entire album (a few times) while driving back home.

His smile was infectious…you couldn’t help but smile when he was around. He could always find a way to make me smile, no matter how bad of a day I thought I was having. He gave the best hugs and the best advice. He always looked out for me (if he didn’t approve of my boyfriend, they guy didn’t stand a chance!)

I truly love Sha-lou and I will never forget any of the things he taught me about friendship, life, and love.

I will keep his family and friends in my thoughts and prayers.

A high school friend writes:

Lucie I. left this comment:

*Sorry for the long delay. I’ve been away and only recently learned of Sha-Lou’s illness and passing.*

I probably haven’t had any contact with Sha-Lou since our days together at Nyack High School, but he is someone who I got to know fairly well in that time. Sha-Lou and I were in the class plays together, and I loved every moment of it (the writing, the late-night pizza deliveries, the rehearsing, the major upset to the student body when we beat the senior class…). I can still hear the crowd roar when Sha-Lou came onto the stage saying, “Hi, I’m Mr. G. I’m the bomb. Image is everything.” Just typing that line made me laugh out loud.

But my favorite all-time memory of Sha-Lou is much more understated and probably not very memorable to most. At my sixteenth birthday party, I sat on my porch opening the gifts that my friends brought. As I opened an endless array of trinkets and gift cards, I opened Sha-Lou’s gift: a big basket that closed with a latch. The others at the party were confused as to why Sha-Lou didn’t put anything in the basket, and poor Sha-Lou sat there, somewhat embarrassed, and said, “I can’t believe I gave her a basket.” I reassured him that it was a lovely gift and that I would find a good use for it. So here we are, all these years later, and I can’t tell you what anyone else gave me for my birthday that year except for Sha-Lou. I’m happy to report that his basket serves a very important purpose in my life: It holds all of my special cards and letters (ok, so I’m a tad sentimental). I actually just went through the basket to see what I had put in there over the years, and some of the things I saved made me laugh while others made me cry. It’s a good basket.

Even though Sha-Lou and I weren’t the closest of friends, I will never forget his winning smile and his warm disposition. It is tremendously saddening that his life was cut so short, but there is no doubt that he made his time with us count.

I offer my condolences to his friends and family at this difficult time.

“His joy invited joy”

Memories continue to trickle in. This one is from Kristin Taylor:

I haven’t seen Sha-lou since our graduation from Vassar four years ago. I had the honor of being in many psychology and education classes with him. Though not the closest of friends, we often caught up with each other on the sidewalk on the way to class or in line at the dining hall. I am struck now by the wholeness and strength of the impression with which he left me, the sum of relatively few encounters.

Vassar was a small campus. You knew most of the people in your class by sight. But Sha-lou, even as an intermittent acquaintance, radiated a very specific kind of warmth, an openhearted delight in life and company and circumstance that left you feeling simpler, younger, happier than you did five minutes before, when you thought you were alone on the sidewalk.

It is impossible for me to think about Sha-lou without picturing him smiling (usually at one of his own jokes). About two months ago I was sitting in a Starbucks when I thought I spotted him a table or two away. The resemblance between this stranger and Sha-lou was so strong that I let out an involuntary squeal, something akin to, “Wow! Is it really you?” The young gentleman looked up, rather confused, and smiled meekly. Disappointed, I apologized and retreated. Definitely not Sha-lou, I thought. Sha-lou always smiled with his teeth. It strikes me now that after four years of not seeing each other I would have felt completely comfortable approaching Sha-lou with unabashed delight. His joy invited joy.

I will leave the rest of the remembering to those who have concrete memories to share. But to those who miss him most, know that for every post on this website, for every mourner you know of and with whom you share your grief, there are countless other lives that Sha-lou touched with that smile and that heart. You will never hear from all of them because they extend beyond knowable limits into the world. I have confidence that each one of them would be as thrilled as I to set down a cup of coffee, look up and find Sha-lou sitting at the next table.

Sha-lou’s aunt Lian Soledad and a powerpoint slide

My appologies for not getting this up sooner. I was in Chicago for the Yearly Kos convention that’s been in the news, which is why I was unfortunately unable to attend the funeral. Fortunately, Lian has sent me a powerpoint slide that they showed there. I have uploaded the file which you can download by clicking on this link. The file is 18 MB.

First of all, I would like to express my sincere thanks to you, Julia, for creating a website in memory of our beloved Sha-lou. I’m one of his four aunts (sisters of his mom) and Sha-lou was our very first nephew. So there were no words to describe the sadness and loss I am feeling right now. Reading heartwarming stories about him, somehow helps ease the burden. It is also amazing to find out that even though his life was short-lived, it was well spent and had inspired a lot of people he met.

Sha-lou, as a child was really smart, sweet, fun loving, full of energy and very friendly. He was also very responsible especially when it comes to his brother. It was in his nature to always do the right thing. Even if he said no to a request, he would always feel guilty about it and would end up doing what you asked him. He grew up to be a concerned person who did little things, he thought would make a difference in the world. He was the one who opened my eyes not to patronize establishments that do not have union or good benefits for their employees. As a teacher, he wanted to specialized in educating children with disabilities.

My fondest memory of him was when he and his brother spent their summer vacation in the Philippines in 1994. It was rainy season in our country at the time, but since it was summer in New York and they loved swimming so much, we spent a lot of times in the beach. We had so much fun riding the waves and playing in the sand coz we’re the only people in the beach. I could still remember the sound of his laughter everytime we reminisced those moments. My sweetest memory though, was when he baked me a chocolate cake with blueberries and cooked risotto for my birthday. I came home really tired and still coping up with the sudden passing of my sister (his favorite aunt) at that time. I was so touched when I saw him sweating from all the cooking and making sure that dinner will be served as soon as I arrived. His effort to make that day a happy one for me really put a smile on my face. It was indeed one of the most memorable birthdays I had. That cake was the best one I ever tasted and the risotto was really superb.

When he got sick, I was so impressed to meet some of his friends and witnessed the friendship they shared. I will never forget all of them and it has taught me to hold my friends closer. I miss my nephew so much. His smile, his loving ways, his every answer to any questions I asked him and our everyday story sharings trying to out-talk each other. My walking encyclopedia is gone and left a huge void in my life but knowing a lot of people cared, was truly comforting. Thank you all so much.

From Nikki Crook

A comment left on the memories page.

I met Sha-lou during my first weeks as a freshman at Vassar College as we both lived in Noyes House, the funny looking dorm on campus. I grew to know him better through our teacher education classes. I will never forget our professor Robin Trainor crying out “Now Sha-lou!” during classes when Sha-lou’s irrepressible sense of humor would come through and he would crack jokes in the middle of class time. All of us (girls except for Shawn and Sha-lou) would be laughing and Robin would be trying not to laugh. When I found out he was sick, I visited him a few times at the hospital and I will never forget how, even during the most difficult times, he continued to be a caring, warm, and attentive friend. I know he will live on in the lives he touched.

From Jessica at Our World School

Here is the most recent comment.

Sha Lou was a treasure of a human being. I met him first when he came to work at our school Our World Neighborhood. The beginning of the school year can be a stressfull time and I was immediately impressed by the way in which Sha Lou transformed every situation into a pleasant one. My goodness that smile!! In the classroom Sha Lou brought a patience and kindness and wisdom that the kids clearly picked up on right away. Sha Lou had some kids in that classroom with a history of being challenging. I would walk into that room and see kids who generally had no patience for classroom instruction and seemed driven to challenge authority and yet, with him, they had found someone who was willing to take the time and listen and learn with them. And suddenly these kids were thriving. His life was too short but in the time that I knew him he was an amazing force for change in the lives of many of our kids and I am forever grateful for having had him as a part of our community. He was loved and he will be missed.

From Sha-lou’s Teacher

Sha-lou’s high school teacher Mr. Michael Giammarino left this comment last night on Memories.

It is with great sadness that I learned of Sha-lou’s passing only 15 minutes ago. I was Sha-lou’s Spanish teacher in both 10th and 11th grade. Not only was he an excellent student, who always got a 100 on every test ( or argued over the points on the tests that he didn’t) and had a mind like a sponge. I remember his impeccable handwriting, and how he always corrected me if I left the hypen out of his name. That was Sha-lou. Eventually I just started calling him Shamu!! That was the sense of humor we both shared.

Sha-lou knew me only too well. In the class plays at Nyack High School, he played me. His portrayal was spot on; he had my mannerisms, humor, quirks, and clothing done to a T. I used to call him my “Mini me.” I often wondered if one day he would follow in my footsteps and become a teacher. And today I found out that he indeed did, and surely inspired many others in the process.

I enjoyed many moments during rehearsals for the class play and other junior class activities with Shal-lou. He was always reliable and helpful and always made everyone laugh.

The last time I saw Sha-lou was in 1999 when he visited me during his senior year. I am proud to see all that he has accomplished and the legacy he leaves behind in the students and friends whose lives he touched. He will be deeply missed, but never forgotten.

I accompany his friends and family at this difficult time in their sadness.

FYI, we have had 1,266 to the site as of 9:50 AM PST. There are now 30 members on the Facebook group. Please keep the memories coming. If you are having trouble figuring it out shoot me an email and I would be happy to walk you through it. I know it is new for a lot of people.

Julia

Welcome Classmates

A special thank you goes out to whomever passed along the links to this site and the Facebook group to AAVC. I am glad you are here and I hope this site will be of help. I really have never known someone as sweet, caring and funny as Sha-lou and I hope this site can capture some of that amazing spirit in memory.

Since there is a lot of new visitors, let me repeat the information on how this site works. Officially it is a blog, which is what appears on this front page. Currently I am the only poster who can write on the front. If anyone is interested in being able to write as well, set up a WordPress account (takes about 2 minutes) and shoot me an email. I would love to add people. Anyone can leave comments on any post or page. To write a comment, scroll all the way to the bottom of a page or post and fill out the form. You don’t have to put in a website. Your first comment will need to be approved by me, in order to keep the spam postings away. Any subsequent comments will automatically go up. If folks have pictures you want to see appear in the photos section please email them to me. If you already have them up on Flickr tag them Sha-lou and send me an email.

Thanks again for coming, as of 10 am PST we have had over 48011 am PST we have had over 640 visitors to the site.

Julia Rosen (juls. rosen @ gmail. com)

Four New Comments

This one came in via email from Jane Earle.

In 2004, when I first moved to New York City and got my first teaching job, Sha-lou was one of the first people I met. His every present smile and sense of humor were exactly what I needed in those first few days. Over the next few months Sha-lou and I would eat lunch together each day. We would gossip incessantly about other teachers, and tell stories about our students. Sha-lou always did the best impression of a second grader having a tantrum. Then, after work we would stroll around the city. In particular I remember making a pumpkin pie together, window shopping downtown, and trips to the coffee shop. In the past year, since I left New York, we had been pen pals via email. Though his positive energy and friendship were extremely valuable to me in person because we always had so much fun, writing back and forth with Sha-lou made me realize that I was lucky enough to be friends with one of the most thoughtful, sensitive, kind, funny, and brave people on this earth. My love goes out to his family and other friends, especially during tomorrow’s service.

Jane

And these were posted this morning. Sorry about the lag time in approval, I am on West Coast time.

I knew Sha-lou from our time in Nyack and Valley Cottage. First of all let me say my condolences and prayers go out to his family and friends. You will all be in my thoughts.

Second, I feel that there are no words I can say that do Sha-lou justice. He was one of the brightest and warmest people I’ve ever met. Always with a smile and kind word, it was hard not to like him. I remember back in high school when Sha-lou and I used to practice speaking Tagalog (Filipino) together. It was nice sharing our cultural connection and it served as a constant reminder of who I am and where I came from. And for that, I thank you Sha-lou. You will be missed.

Last of all, I will be sure to forward the link to this page to everyone I know who knew Sha-lou. I’m sure they too will have fond memories of him.

- Kirby Gargantiel

This comment is from Alvi Bartonico

I’ve known Sha Lou since we were little kids back in Manila. We were called mintcor babies. I used to remember the time when our moms had put up a small kindergarten type in our small subdivision, in one of those vacant houses. Of course we were the first students. Sha Lou and I would always sit together and chat. We would always get in trouble with our parents because we talk alot in class. We were always playing around the subdivisiong for hours, to the point that our moms would get so mad by the time we get home. We’ve had so much memories together.
Sha Lou is a wonderful person and I would truly miss him. I know we have not spoken for a while, but I’ve always and will always cherish our memories together. I love you my dear friend!

And finally, a comment from Dara Kammerman

One of the many things that was incredible about Sha-lou was his ability to bring people together. He was always planning little get togethers and excursions. Our freshman year, he insisted that the entire floor go to dinner together at least once a week- and people really did it! Also, as Richard was saying to me tonight, any group photograph that we have from college was probably because Sha-lou requested it and we all complied! Do people from Vassar remember BSB tuna fish parties? Every so often, he would gather everyone in his room and we would listen to Backstreet Boys and eat tuna sandwiches….. I’m not sure how that one originated, but it was so great! It was so important for him to bring people together and we will always be grateful for the sense of community he created for us. He just had so much love to go around. I will miss him more than words can describe.

Couple Items

The site has been live for almost a day now and I have been shifting a few things around to respond to how people are using the site. There is now a page called Memories, where folks can go leave their favorite memories with Sha-lou. I will continue to pull the new ones to the front page, so people don’t miss them.

Dara has been emailing me  some pictures, which I am uploading to my flickr account.  The block/widget to the right labeled photos is pulling from my photos tagged Sha-lou.  If anyone has a flickr account and has pictures of Sha-lou, tag them with his first name and give me a heads up.   Anyone who has pictures and wants to have them posted please send them along.

I also started a Facebook group, unfortunately, when I created it I restricted it to just people in the Vassar network, which I cannot change.  I have a service request into Facebook, but it may not be able to be fixed.  But please come on over, we have 8 people who have joined already.

Last, but not least, here is our second comment.

What can I say; Sha-lou was the best. I always envied that dry sense of humor and he could always make me laugh no matter what mood I was in. I will miss him soooo much and in some ways feel like I should still be able to visit or pick up the phone and chat about the days adventures. He loved teaching and his children, loved life and lived it fully and when he got sick he handled himself with such grace and dignity. He was brave to the end and treated everyone around him well, always using humor even when he was in pain. I will cherish his friendship always.

Jessica

P.S. Don’t forget, I am happy to give folks blog posting permissions, just set up a WordPress account and shoot me an email.